Less than a month to go, 24 days to be exact till I sit for my exams, am I prepared? Guess I'll just have to wait to see for myself. At least theres a bright side, after my exams, the hols await me, the days where I no longer have to put on a uniform await me. I know its gonna be hard for gurls, they all have to make an effort to wake up extra early just to decide what to wear, and pray that nobody else in campus is wearing the same clothes, shoes also perhaps, earings? I dont think earings matter right? =\ For us guys, no planning requred, just select and wear.
Total time required ?
Gurls = 1 hour ++
Guys = 15-20min
In the end both males and females looks equally great..So guys win this round.

Of course I'm looking forward to college life, but I'm surely gonna miss secondary life too. I mean, the memories you carry with you, one big difference will be the toilets. I doubt you'll find anymore interesting "graffitis" on toilet walls, all directing to educators or the head. No longer will you have to hold your breath or endure the natural "aroma". So if people think public toilets are bad? You haven't seen the worst yet.

Moving on with a more decent posting...
Who do you think has stronger and more enduring legs? The female or the males? The answer is clear and simple. Lets look at football, a pitch with 22 guys running around trying to score, they run for a full 45 min, a short break, and continue to run for another 45min. Lets look at basketball, more guys running, baseball, more guys running ( I know females also participate in these sports, football and basketball, but they're slower ). So who is the winner here? Guys? Lets do a simple test, you place a male sprinter on one side, and on the other, a normal female. Their goal? run towards a mall with a big sign that says " Grand Sale Up To 80% Discounts! ". Females have proven again and again that they dont need to take a break during a shopping spree, they can spend hours and hours walking, shopping, and not feel tired at all. The funniest and the most bizarre thing is, they spend 5 hours walking around, but they only purchase 1 of 2 garments. The winner for this round?
Gurls = Legs tiring out during shopping is never in their dictionary
Guys = Walking around in malls shopping without break? 1-2 hours MAX
Gurls take this round...

End of round 1 results : Guys = 1 Gurls = 1

*****************************************************************************
Gazing up at the skies,
the stars are no where to be found on this beautiful night,
not a sparkle or a twinkle to shine a light.
I lie down on the field, shutting my eyes,
praying and hoping deep inside,
that my prayer will be answered by the other side.
But as I opened my eyes,
there were still no stars in the skies.
As I turned and look at you,
I finally understood why,
why was there not a single sparkle in the sky.
It is simply because someone stole all the stars,
and put them in your eyes.
Your eyes sparkle even in the darkest nights,
twinkle everytime to make things right.
I'm forever lost while I gazed into your eyes,
but I'm not afraid as long as you're by my side.
Wait, the last 2 lines don't sound right. =(

What do you see each time you look into the mirror? A reflection of yourself? Or a reflection of emptiness? Emptiness inside, feeling lost. You splash water over your face, expecting the cooling sensation to take your mind off things, but you're efforts were in vain. You're mind starts to swirl. You know you brought this over to yourself, and yet, you can't seem to let it slide. How do you cope? You know it ain't easy, but you still hang on, each day...Why? You live each day, showing no regrets, but deep inside, you're feeling every single sting. You kept on telling yourself, what should be done, but no matter how hard you try, there will still be traces, traces in the sand which can't be covered up, no matter how hard to wind blows. You're tough on the outside, fragile within, but you never show your emotions, yet, the people closest to you, they know. They're the ones holding you together each time you crubmle. You feel sorry at times, that you can never care for them as much as they cared for you, that you are not there each time they needed you. It takes time, for broken pieces to mend, traces to fade. You know that, you know people care, but you don't know what to do anymore...

************
Just this afternoon, I was having my lunch in a restaurant, saw 2 kids, a small girl and a small boy, playing and running around, I remember me and my bro were like that too when we were young, about 3-4 years old. I still remember, it was in Selangor Club ( the one in town ), everyone clad in formal attire would be enjoying their meal, my bro and I would be running around, making alot of noise, I have to admit, it was really irritating for the people dining there. Few days later, a letter was sent to my parents, asking parents to control their children's behaviour - make sure they don't run around at the club. Few days later, we went back to the club. This time, in the dining area, a sign was up, "Please ensure that your children don't run around" or a sign saying something like that, I've forgotten, it was more than 10 years back, till now, I still remember my bro and I were having so much fun back then.

Back to the present, the 2 kids were having so much fun. Each of them taking turns, " Daddy! Daddy! I wan step on your feet, then you walk me there k? " The father did what the kids wanted, the face on the kids says it all, they were smiling and laughing the whole way. Then something happened, the small girl, called the obviously elder boy by his name, I found it weird, shouldn't she be calling "KorKor" or something? Not wanting to ponder upon that for too long, I continue my lunch while watching them play. A woman walked by few moments later, the father said to the boy " Your mummy's here already, time to go.." The boy went to the mother's arms and both mother and son walked out the door. " Bye daddy! " That was the little boy's reply. I stop munching at that moment. I started to understand, why did the little girl called the boy by his name, instead of "KorKor" or something similar. This time the father carried the little girl in his arms and sat down. "Lets go, mummy's here already. " the father said few moments later as a woman walked over. All 3 of them exited the restaurant, moving the opposite direction the Mother and the little boy went. It was all becoming clear to me, I was saddened by the sight. I know its hard, especially for the little ones, not having an opportunity to turn to both his or her father or mother when they need to, only having the chance to turn to one.

Those who are going through these circumstances, I can't say I know what you're going through, but, I know one thing, you all are the strongest, you all possess the strenght and courage within which I can never imagine to have. My appetite for that hour was gone...

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to listen,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to share the moment with,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to pour your heart to,
I'm here.
Why am I doing this for you?
Cause when I needed a shoulder,
yours' was available.
When I needed someone to listen,
you spend hours listening.
When I needed a friend,
you were always there.
So its the least I could do,
to be by your side everytime,
and each time the entire world walked out on you.
I'll always be there.

Another 30 days to my exams, wish me luck kay. So far, I seem to be on the correct path, the path which would actually lead me to score in my exams. Everything seems right so far, I'm recovering from my multiple unwell symptoms and my results ain't that bad, even though I knew I could've done better. No matter, I just gotta look ahead, and hope for the best, for I know the best has yet to come...

You're not alone,
when the lights go out at night,
when you're feeling lost inside,
you're not alone.
You're not alone,
when your world is falling down,
I will be the one around,
you're not alone.
~You're Not Alone by Shayne Ward


If you ever need a shoulder to lean on,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to listen,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to share the moment with,
I'm here.
If you ever need someone to pour your heart to,
I'm here.
Why am I doing this for you?
Cause when I needed a shoulder,
yours' was available.
When I needed someone to listen,
you spend hours listening.
When I needed a friend,
you were always there.
So its the least I could do,
to be by your side everytime,
and each time the entire world walked out on you.
I'll always be there.

The semester is coming to an end, a big shoutout to all of you guys, for everything, all the memories will surely be treasured, best of luck to everyone. Thanks a bunch.

As soon as I woke up on Sunday, I knew I was in for a long day. A few steps, seems like thousands. Fatigue was kicking in during the afternoon. I still managed to take the long troublesome walk to my room to study. The next that followed caused me to suffer, maybe suffer is a strong word, um..caused me to feel a little unwell. It started off with my entire body feeling like it was on fire, god knows how high my temperature was. Each time I closed my eyes, I felt the heat scorching my face and my eyes. But that was only the beginning...

The next morning, soar throat and throat irritation kicked in. I sat by my bed, downing few mouths of water but nothing seems to make me feel any better, nothing seems to help me to overcome my tiredness. My first cough in the morning caused my throat to hurt, immense pain, I prayed that it was my last cough of the day, but it wasn't. As if it wasn't bad enough, runny nose joined in. It was the killer combination - Fever, throat irritation, soar throat, runny nose.

It was 2am on a Tuesday morning, my eyes were wide opened. Everytime I lied down, my mind kept spinning, filled with thoughts, useless ones, kept me from sleeping. Finally got some rest round 4... My condition worsen when I woked up. It was time pay a visit to the doc. My temperature was sky high, 38.5. According to the doc it was really high =.=" So I got the usual meds, panadol, cough medicine etc. At 11pm, I decided to call it a day, with hope that I could actually get some rest. But once again, woke up round 2am, this time, my mind was filled with different thoughts - Plastic anemia, transplants, ( all from watching HOUSE, the best drama ever, when i'm sick ) and many others, all useless once again. 3am, it was only at that time, did I fell asleep again.

So today is Wednesday, I'm definitely feeling better compared to the past few days. The sick me didn't have the enthusiasm to turn on the computer at all, that explains the late update. Anyway, hope I get well real soon, 30+ days to examination.

"Mummy! Mummy!" She called out loud.
Her little voice drowned by the noise of the crowd,
In the hustle and bustle of people hurring about,
It was easy to ignore a little girl's shouts.

Clutching her teddy bear in her arms,
She searched the sea of faces in panic and alarm,
Her mother was here just a moment ago,
Where she was now, the poor thing did not know.

Slowly but surely she started to cry,
Tears fell like rain from her big blue eyes,
The harder she sobbed, the more terrified she became,
When she suddenly heard a voice calling her name.

"Emily!" There stood a man dressed in white,
His robe radiated with a dazzling light,
On his back a huge pair of bird-like wings,
Upon seeing him she immediately stopped crying.

"Tell me, are you lost?" he asked gently,
She nodded her sweet head vigorously,
"Come," he said lifting her onto his shoulders,
"We'll find your mummy, together."

Up he flew into the sunny blue sky,
She gasped with delight at this man who could fly!
She looked down below at the crowds of people,
She could see all of them without any trouble.

"Look theres mummy, the lady in red!"
The flying man smiled and nodded his head,
He put her down carefully onto the ground,
Near the lady who was frantically looking around.

"Mummy!" cried Emily, and ran to her mother,
Who saw her coming and hurriedly embraced her,
"Oh Emily, please forgive me! I thought I'd lost you,"
Choking back her tears, Emily replied,"Me too!"

She stopped for a moment and turned around,
But the kind, winged man was no where to be found,
In her heart, Emily knew as she went on her way,
That her guardian angel had come to her rescue that day.

As you're reading this please bear in mind,
That I will be beside you anywhere anytime,
As your guardian angel and your friend,
To pull you through till the very end.

Few more days and the holiday ends, and its back to exams once more. How I wish they could quit wasting our time and just chunk us the Major Exam tommorrow. The main exam is like, uh.. 9, 10 days, but our trials lasted for at least 2 months. Even at this very moment as I'm writing this, I still feel the guilt of not studying, my mind constantly reminding me that I have less than 2 months to achieve the results I want - straight A's of course. Guess it's time to wake up from my long sleep afterall, who am I kidding here, the major exam ain't tommorrow, it's in less than 2 months time, so I think I should really spend my time wisely =D ....studying, instead of watching Korean Dramas =.=" I'll leave it right here...

**********************************************
For once,
I have nothing to talk about,
my life,
simple for now.
Or you can say I've no inspiration,
to write at the moment,
only clouded by guilt.

**********************************************
I'll just share something with you all...


"Mummy! Mummy!" She called out loud.
Her little voice drowned by the noise of the crowd,
In the hustle and bustle of people hurring about,
It was easy to ignore a little girl's shouts.

Clutching her teddy bear in her arms,
She searched the sea of faces in panic and alarm,
Her mother was here just a moment ago,
Where she was now, the poor thing did not know.

Slowly but surely she started to cry,
Tears fell like rain from her big blue eyes,
The harder she sobbed, the more terrified she became,
When she suddenly heard a voice calling her name.

"Emily!" There stood a man dressed in white,
His robe radiated with a dazzling light,
On his back a huge pair of bird-like wings,
Upon seeing him she immediately stopped crying.

"Tell me, are you lost?" he asked gently,
She nodded her sweet head vigorously,
"Come," he said lifting her onto his shoulders,
"We'll find your mummy, together."

Up he flew into the sunny blue sky,
She gasped with delight at this man who could fly!
She looked down below at the crowds of people,
She could see all of them without any trouble.

"Look theres mummy, the lady in red!"
The flying man smiled and nodded his head,
He put her down carefully onto the ground,
Near the lady who was frantically looking around.

"Mummy!" cried Emily, and ran to her mother,
Who saw her coming and hurriedly embraced her,
"Oh Emily, please forgive me! I thought I'd lost you,"
Choking back her tears, Emily replied,"Me too!"

She stopped for a moment and turned around,
But the kind, winged man was no where to be found,
In her heart, Emily knew as she went on her way,
That her guardian angel had come to her rescue that day.

As you're reading this please bear in mind,
That I will be beside you anywhere anytime,
As your guardian angel and your friend,
To pull you through till the very end.

~Aside from the last stanza, the rest is not my original work.
Got my inspiration from somewhere,
Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do.

It's 12.50, waiting at Times, I thought I had the TYPICAL Malaysian timing figgured out, being 20 minutes late, but I was still the earliest. Couple of minutes later, Jae Han came, finally someone... to play pool with. Guess it was the right decision after all to kill time, 'bout 1.30 then the organiser, Mike shows up, talk about punctual and time management. Where was everyone? Me and Jae Han were told that the show was at 2, and we're suppose to be there at 12.30. Only to be told again that the movie's at 4, I was speechless for minutes. Once again, just to kill time, we headed to Coffee Bean, had a few drinks, chatted a lil. Around 3.30 the next person came, Chiak, I no longer want to talk about punctuality anymore. Went to the cinema after that. While I was standing at TGV, waiting to enter, I spotted this cute girl clad in casual top and a skirt, talking with an accent, seems to be from an international school. I seriouly think she was cute, but Jae Han they all didn't think so, so I ended up getting remarks like " OMG, no!! You call that cute?" , " She's below average la " , "You call that chun ar? It's nothing la ", I guess everyone has their own individual taste then, guess my expectations don't match with my peers high expectations,the model body and looks . Anyway, it was time for the movie, Rob-B-Hood. If you haven't watch that movie yet, I suggest you do so, worth watching. Right after the movie, bought a book, rushed home and headed to my Grandma's place for dinner.

**************************************************************
Playing in my ears,
music had and always will be part of my life,
they bring back memories,
actually shedded tears listening to them.
Through the lyrics,
I experienced joy,
through the lyrics,
I experienced sorrows.
But, when it's all set and done,
after the music hits the last note,
the sorrows will disappear,
thats what makes music so special.
The melody is irreplaceable,
as a life companion which will always cheer you up,
no matter the situation.
Thats why music is part of my life,
and it will always be till the very end,
I hope that it will be part of you too.

**************************************************************

Exam week is finally coming to and end, well, almost. So I had Biology and Maths today. Since last year, I'm constantly struggling just to cope with Biology. Just to get a high credit, for me, it had always been an uphill task. For once, today, I felt that I could actually achieve that, thats what I'm hoping for. Kinda surprised that I could actually do my essay, for the first time, I actually understand my essay, it meant something, it made perfect sense, it's not the usual bull- I crap about just to fill the spaces. Maths was quiet easy, I learned something new right after the exam, P_ij actually means "horizontal" and "vertical" ! aha! Thats one question which I thought was a printing error, so there I was, praying hard, closing my eyes, randomly choosing an answer. The outcome? My prayer was answered, I got it correct, amazing....

So, these past few weeks, I'm actually kinda hooked on Korean dramas, how did that happened? I wonder... A person who doesn't even bother watching Korean dramas, one day, turns on the TV, watch 5 min of his first korean drama ( Marrying A Millionaire ), the next thing you know, he's busy following every episode. Does he stop there? No. He follows another drama ( My Girl ). Weird.. Speaking of weird, last weekend, my parents actually told me, they saw a nice movie on Astro, I imagined some premiere movie or something, but it was actually " Freaky Friday ", the weird thing was, my mummy - thats what i call - was more of the horror movie fan, and my daddy, he was more of the chinese action packed with 'kung fu scenes, out of no where, they both ended up watching Freaky Friday, weird...but Freaky Friday was seriously a nice show, forgot the time when I actually watched that movie, maybe 2 years back or last year? Now i'm just looking forward to My Girl, 8.30pm 8tv. Listening to music " Jolin in the house, DT in the house, our love in the house..."

*****************************************************************
Reliving the past,
its not something many will choose.
But, what if, you had no choice at all?
You're force to live the way things are, everyday.
Words, imaginations, thoughts,
triggers the past,
crowds your thoughts.
Whats there to be done?
Face it? or run,
and keep on running,
for the rest of your life.
Running relieves you for a certain time,
but, how much stamina you actually haved left in you?
As time passed, your legs hurt,
your muscle aches, cramps,
you feel tired, exhausted.
Instead of feeling exhaustion,
maybe its time you give it a thought,
on how to face it instead of running,
ask yourself questions,
what?
why?
And once you've had the answer,
you never have to continue,
running on that same track for years,
with the same worn-out shoes ever again,
cause the path to the stadium will be shut, tightly.

~Does it actually make sense? LOL!
No matter what the pain you feel, be it inside or outside, keeping your grief bottled up isn't the best way, and will never be, shoulders are there around you, ears are there, waiting, waiting for you.

School was quiet, with no exams for today(thursday) and tomorrow, everyone seems to be sleeping at home. The early school hours started off with a scholarship talk from Taylors. Then it was classes as usual, well, suppose to be. The first period of the day, was finally the time for me to shine, in many ways which I had never imagined before, I was playing football. Being one of the few skilless players ( other sports is fine, but footy, I'm LOST ), stand-pass-kick was my normal routine, no dribbing involved. Jeff reinjured his ankle that game, he's one guy who actually gives anything for football. So in the end, Sashi had to actually step in as a physio, twisting Jeff's ankle, the weirdest thing happened when he starting moaning, more like pleasure than pain, whats with that, its school guys! snap out of it! With half of the class not present, the noise level was a little lower, mostly because some of us were filled with emotions after finally knowing our exams results. Though that didn't stop us from enjoying the rest of the day. So after school, Jien and I headed for tuition. That day, tuition was extra tiring, considering I didn't have the time to catch a nap after reaching home late. So basicly, the whole tuition, my head was fishing, drooping, coming up again, and then drop. The 1 min toilet break I had to freshen up, made all the difference, splashing water on my face never felt so good =.=" I was all awake again.
All of that happened yesterday...

************************************
I tried lying to people around me,
I tried lying to myself,
but,
no matter how hard I try to hide it,
people still notice,
guess it wasn't that easy after all...

************************************

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THEY need your support not money,
I've done my part, have you done yours?
Scroll up and see the right sidebar for more details.

Its the weekends, so I'll guess I lay off the books for a while... for now at least. Ever since we were born, we were told to excel in our studies, get good grades in our exams, so we'll be guaranteed a job, financial security and lead a happy life. Yet, now we see jobless grads all over. Does education play a major role in our life? Of course it does, without education we'll be incomplete. But, does it GUARANTEE a successful life? I mean its good to get flying colours, don't get me wrong, but in the world we're living in now, theres more to life than just getting good grades, we must enjoy life. In those days, just by completing high school, just by having a degree, you could get a job anytime, just by driving a small car , you're considered rich, those were the days. Now? A degree don't secure you a job anymore, a degree shows what are you're qualified in, in these days, everyday actions decides the next. It sets the routes you're going to take. Its up to you to lead a successful life or a dull one, have yourself working around the clock everyday making money for someone, or have people working for you? Choose to wait for an opportunity, or take the trouble finding one and puting it into good use? Decisions and actions create opportunities to success. Flying colours, education, are there to support, being the pillars of success. You need them both. With just one you will be living life just the way it is -- plain and simple, nothing great and with neither one of them you might as well just continue your days staring at the computer screen everyday. Do well in exams and in life, thats the important thing, making right decisions.

* ~ For the first time, I actually felt I did quite well in my examinations, I could actually get straight As, no harm hoping and dreaming, at least gimme 6As ~*


*********************************************************************
So I had physics today, one of the few exam papers which I actually had some time to spare. So anyway, I guess the worse is over for now, few more papers to go. After school, headed for lunch with my mom, then it was off to tuition. Mike (http://mikedotorg.blogspot.com) was really feeling weird in tuition, how can I say this, he "grew horns" the whole tuition. I'm trying to keep things decent in my blog kay? He did some things =X eyes moving. So anyway, after that, me and him together with a few guys went to a cafe, ages since I stepped in one, and after that, its all the way back home.


~* So far, my life in Form 5, had its ups and downs, there were moments to be remembered, and moments that would leave a scar behind, a life lesson. I still find it hard to believe though, in a few months time, I would actually be leaving high school and head to college. Time really flies when you're having fun huh? A big thanks from the bottom of my heart, to y'all out there, really, for everything. Everything that has happened, I thank you guys for it. My life would never be the same without you friends, glad we've met...

~Something for my Class2006~
**From the right row
Jon , always sleeping, in class or anywhere, and yet excel in his studies
Jabrull , performs better dissapearing acts than any magician
Jae Han , chilling fella, forever taking things easy -- Make a move one day kay?
Justin , I can't put it in words, he's a real good pal --Enjoy life la...
Wei Liang , die hard Chelsea fan, they won't win this season kay?
Joshua , always trying hard in everything
Cheryl , sweet and adds a whole chinese atmosphere with her singing - her singing is good btw
Sen Ming , cute and sometimes too quiet but really sweet - everyone says shes cute =D
Chin Wei , friendly prefect, known her for at least 10 years, just found out she watch korean dramas too
Wan Tian , reaaaaly smart, and..... reallly INNOCENT..
Sun Mei , pretty and Cheryl's singing partner -> her singing is also good
Carynn , a good friend with a huge talent for singing - Damn! Our whole class can sing! cept me?
Kar Yan , cute and funny... thanks for last year pressie again
June , friends for 11 long years!!! one of the few gurls who actually feels satisfied about herself - You get me?
Grace , sweet and caring - a gurl who finally got over Lee Ryan after those years..
Felicia , one who always smile...so sweet - keep smiling
Ying Min , looks can be deceiving - not that innocent, but shes a nice person
Mei Xin , people says she gets angry really fast, but so far, I don't see any anger at all...and shes my sis LOL
Yih Shin , socialable person - regretted not knowing you better last year, shes really a fun person to hang out with
Yi Lyn , friendly and a real nice person to talk to - tell me hows that scout movie kay?
Nikki , pretty, friendly and.... a girl that cooks!! plus point.. -- Still wanna try your cooking
Nicholas , talented in drawing.... all SORTS of drawing..point made - change your hairstyle after exam k?
Darren , its just girls and basketball - after so long, you finally did the right thing =D
Ming Han , another singer -- "horns" bugger
Syahirah , one of the most dedicated prefect in our class LOL
Siti Hajar , I think by far the most quiet girl in our class
Hanie , a real fun girl, funny
Afi , another talented artist, likes anime and mangas
Farhana , funny, whacky, friendly
Sashi , class monitor who likes cars, his driving? uhh...no comment.. its quite good actually, as long he's not late for anything
Jien Hoong , a good pal who i've known for years...and years to come - stick to one...
Jeff , funny guy who enjoys footie - eyes stop wandering around so much la
Kovienn , class would be really boring and quiet without him around,

Whats life without taking chances?
You've got to stand up for somthing
Even if theres a posibility you'd fall
Fall hard..
Take that road
Wherever it might lead
No matter where
No matter the reason
I will journey till the very end
I want you to know
I tried my best
To do the best I could
I had to give it my all
It's what I had to do
And..
I'll do it all again
And thats the honest truth
I did it for you
In the end
I'll still pick myself up
If the joruney stops
And continue on another road
~ Something worth sharing with you all ~

Take note WL..doubt you can read this anyway

So I've heard...
But where do I go from here?
Decisions are made everyday....
But why is it so hard to do so at this very moment?
I've been through it...
I've tried...
Taken risks...
Falled....
And managed to pick myself up...
Learn from my mistakes...
But am I willing to go through the whole thing again?
I am...
But..
I can't find any stepping stone around me...
More like I can't find it within me...
Not for now...
I can't...
I don't know how...
But the truth is...
Thats just me...
Afraid...

****** +++++++*****
Steve Irwin...
many thanks for sharing your great adventure with us..
you shall always be remembered...
as a star...
as a sport...
as a teacher...
as a adventurer...
as a guide...
as a friend...
God bless...
" CRIKEY!!! "
" Oh whata beauty!! "
" See how big that thing is? "
******+++++++******

So I'm writing this during an examination, weird huh? I read a friend's blog recently, and she did the same thing, writing an entry during an exam, after all, I got the spare time and I'm kinda bored too.
The skies look weird somehow, I mean it's just different compared to the last few days, maybe its just me....
Usually I can picture an image from the clouds, few days back it was a horse, then a head figure of Abraham. But today, all I see is, clouds, imageless clouds. Cloudy...thats exactly how I felt a few moments ago, not knowing whats happening around me.
For starters, I had exactly no idea on earth what was the cause of the problem, till recently...
The intention of actually hurting someone isn't right at all, but what did I do? There I sat dumbfounded, not knowing why the sudden mood change, and yet I blame myself, we did, maybe an action or mere words which I had accidentally said, and without me knowing, offended her in some way.
Heh, I actually forgotten the last time I had this feeling. When was the last time I actually said something hurtful to someone? 5 to 10 years perhaps? For me, as far as I know, it has always been easier to give compliments rather than to critisize someone in a bad way. I'm actually proud of myself already for not using any vulgar language for uhh...2 months =.=' Well the previous setting was 2 1/2 years, but that run ended when I heard something, and at that spur of the moment, BOOM!! I said that one word.. by saying just that one word, my 2 1/2 year streak ended, I regretted that very moment, why did I speak without even thinking, that thought me something new... and now I'm starting my again, 2 months so far...
Time really flies when I'm writing, about 3 more minutes and its time to hand up the papers. Guess I wasn't feeling different at all, this is going to sound weird, I actually pictured an elephant in the skies, oh wait, now it's a fish and... it's still a fish. At least now I know what caused it, lets just hope the ignoring ends....soon...
All you need is a little patience and creativity with a little bit of thinking, and everything should work out fine, same with the clouds, images will surely appear, if you really wanna see it, same with life, chances will only show yourself if you take risk, and creativity has nothing to do with it =.="
Just know that, there is never failure, only life lessons to be learned.

Every ticking sound from my Titus watch...

I listen....

Seconds past....

As I peered outside the window towards my surroundings. The first thing which caught my eye was a huge billboard about ICT learning above the highways, everything seem so normal. My eyes wandered a little further up, and there it was, a widely spread ocean, the light breeze eased my eyes, the relaxing sensation was all I need to keep away the competitive and tense atmosphere building all around me. I felt calm, felt as though I was in a room all alone, with no worries, and yet not feeling lonely at all. I was looking directly towards the blue skies...

Minutes past....

My attention was back on the History paper on my desk....

11:30pm~
"Ride with us, roll with us, fly with us, come with us, on this journey" the lyrics echoed, I felt the beat around me, in me, as Pop Shuvit was rocking on the stage. I glance at my watch, 30 minutes to go, thats all the time we have to gather everyone, thats the time we have before the fireworks go off, thats the time we have to be next to everyone.

15 minutes to go, our group split, went looking for other people, scrambled all around. And time past,
The countdown started,
10....where was everyone?
9....few of us were already waiting outside
8.....what about the rest?
7....our attention turned to the stage, as Joey G was counting off
6....5....4....3....2....1....MERDEKA!!

Fireworks shot up towards to skies.. The skies above Ikano and The Curve....Beautiful, Lighted, Booming.
Things would've been more perfect...
If the spray thingy didn't get all over me,
If the group hadn't split,
If everyone was together,
If the fireworks display was longer,
If the bunch of people at the corner wasn't trying to sell their country flag for RM10,
If only you..
If only...
You were there....
Right beside me...

Its the hols, and yet, I had the audacity to wake up at 6am, got myself suited up, and off i went...jogging. Gloomy skies, light breeze, and yes... the "oh-so-powerful" strong fragrance of horse 'shyt and urine fills the air. I can spend 2 extra hours in bed, sleeping comfortably, but instead i chose to breathe the 'morning air'.

Well nuff of that, so I came back, relaxing my tired legs as I sat down flipping through the papers. As usual, news about Siti and Datuk's wedding were printed. If all of you would think with me for one second, is having your grand wedding aired live on local television such a good idea? and even allowing the public to attend it? So there you are, standing tall on one of your most important day of your life, beside your wife-to-be or future husband, walking table to table, acknowledging the presence of your love ones and friends, introducing your soul mate to them, and then you stop at a table. You see faces you've never seen before so you expect them to be your partner's friends. You turn to your partner, waiting for him or her to introduce you, but they turn back at you, their expression tells it all, who are these people? Yet, some of the public actually fancy the idea of the wedding being AIRED LIVE, whats up with that? You talk about recent events happening around us, they'll be lost. Just mention bout Siti's wedding, everyone knows about it.

Lets face it, we all know that celebs get most of the attention. Heck, even reporters prefer celeb news over some environmental or nature related news. Siti's wedding captured front page headlines couple days back, but why don't I see the extinction of leatherbacks appearing on front page headlines? I see people following up on the wedding updates day by day, wouldn't it be great if the same amount of attention and interest could be showed to the leatherbacks?

People are aware about celeb news like the wedding, but are they aware about things happening around us? Just to list a few...

• At LEAST one child dies every minute, suffering from Pneumococcal disease
• Every 3 seconds, a child dies from extreme poverty and aids
• And yes.. the leatherbacks are becoming extinct =.="

So i'm done with the papers, that brings me to this, blogging... I'm suppose to spend time studying later, but I wonder will that be achievable? Guess the guilt of not studying hasn't kicked in yet, and I doubt it will, maybe the weekends perhaps? I surely hope so... I sat in my chair, spinning in circles, will I be able to live up to my parents expectation which required me to score like hell?
(*note to all - score like hell means seriously score, score till its impossible to score anymore)
(*mental-note to self : definitions like that could be excluded, everyone knows what you mean)

Before signing off, I would just like to wish Yi Lyn and Jin Ern, Happy Birthday! May all your hopes and dreams come through!

So guess i'm back where I started blogging the first time, BLOGSPOT . More flexibility..

**
Ever thought of becoming another person? Maybe a celeb? A millionaire? Or the only thought you have is to dream to be the way you are now, living each day? What about changing your personality, or who you are, just to suit a special someone? or just to "click" with the happening bunch? I'll admit people do change when time goes by, change for the better, not for the wrong reason. I mean no harm dreaming to fantasize about living in paradise, but changing who you are, just to be welcomed by certain people, its simply outrages. I'm not talking about migrating to a country and suiting yourself to the local customs, I'm talking about impressing and fitting into a group. Change your bad habbits? yes please do, but not change your whole. You may be able to change how a person reacts in front of you, but, can you really change how a person thinks? how a person express themselves? how a person wants to be heard and remembered? Can you really change all that? If you can, think for one second, what makes us different from one another then? Skin colour, looks? Heck peel of the skin of a green apple and a red apple, the inside will always be the same. What sepparates the two is its own taste, its either sweet or sour. Imagine if all apples are sweet, what fun will that be?

Everyone is different in their own way, and yet, some of us refuse to accept who they are. If a person does not fufill a certain standard, expectation, quality in their personality, a barrier is created in between. Language is not an obstacle in our way, stopping us to communicate and mix around, but flaws seen in a person becomes the main support for the barriers. Language is just something minor.

So once again, should a person change just to be accepted by a minority groups? Personally, I dont think so. I think the minorities should try accepting a person for who they are, how special they are, though sometimes, advising them to change lil for the better is okay, considering that I know what he or she had done, so I guess it's okay for a slight change to blend in, but not change everything. I'm starting not to make sense, i've read that sentence 3 times, and its still a blur.

365 days a year, 8760 hours a year, 525600 minutes a year, 31536000 seconds a year, I don't think spending each day keeping negative images and impressions about someone is useful to anyone ( Why do I keep using the days, hours, minutes thing =P ) . Don't you think its a waste of time? You do the math...

**
Just shifted here from friendster blog, dont mind me laying off long entries for now...

~Jian
Always here for U...